Why Would Any Parent Let Their Child Watch Dumbo?

Film: Dumbo
Year: 1941
Where I Saw It: DVD

So here we are with another Disney film and like many of you, this film was a staple of my early childhood.  When I got to this film in my book, I had to skip over it because I hadn't seen it in such a long time.  I probably saw it last over twenty years ago and I wanted to watch it again before I wrote my review.  I could only remember vague memories from the film and when I went searching for it I was surprised a bit to find how difficult it was to track down.  After all, it is a Disney movie so therefore it should be easy to find.  Three nights ago I found it, watched it and promptly wept for my childhood.  Yes, it's list time and here are the top ten reasons why you should never let your child watch Dumbo.

1.  Dumbo's mother is thrown in jail.  Not only thrown in jail, but Dumbo is forced to watch every other animal in the circus snuggle up to their mom's in a constant reminder to Dumbo that HIS MOM'S IN JAIL!!!

2.  If you are in any way a supporter of animal rights, just- Umm...  Look, just don't watch it.  Unless you've thought to yourself recently, "Gee, my blood pressure sure has been on the low side lately".

3.  The putting up the circus scene is oddly scary.  I mean, really scary.  I mean, why did you make this scene so scary?  You're putting up a circus!

4.  Dumbo gets wasted on a combination of soap and cheap booze.

5.  While he's drunk, he experiences the most frightening cartoon sequence I have ever scene.  This scene would make Tim Burton say "Hey Walt.  Tone it down will ya?"

6.  The lesson of the movie is "Hey kids!  Do you have big ears?  Then throw yourself off a building and you'll fly!"

7.  Speaking of flying, I know it's a cartoon but it really seems like they were grasping at straws here.  Here's how I imagine the conversation went.
Walt - Alright everybody, we need a new film.
Writer - How about the story of a monkey that can fly?
Walt - No, there's already a movie with flying monkeys.  Think bigger.
Writer - Umm...  An Elephant that can fly?
Walt - BRILLIANT!!!

8.  Dumbo's mouse sidekick is the poor man's Jimney Cricket

9.  Dumbo's mouse sidekick is just Mickey Mouse who hit puberty voice-wise.

10.  Dumbo's crow friends are voiced by black people.  The cartoon could have made them sparrows or cardinals or song birds or ANYTHING ELSE, but no, that wouldn't be racist enough.

One Last Point - The crows really are too much.  Youtube Dumbo Crow Scene and you'll see what I mean.  This is not a case of "accidental" racism or "we didn't know any better then" racism.  It's just flat out racism.  They even have the "Jim Crow" voice.

Thanks for reading! - Scott Scene

The Great Train - OK I Have No Idea About What's Going On

Film:  The Great Train Robbery
Year: 1903
Where I Saw It: DVD

My friend The Projectionist gave me a call again this week.  He had found another film I was looking for.  This one was a Western and arguably the first one ever made.  Again, if your not a fan of the genre still check it out.  Even though it's a three parter, it still clocks in at just under fifteen minutes.  It's neat to see how with such a short amount of time and no sound, a story (well, most of it) can still be told through film.  It's also worth noting that at the beginning of the film (or end depending what version you find) there's a short scene where one of the gunfighters points his gun towards the audience and fires.  This was one of the first attempts to make the audience really feel like they were part of the movie.

Having no sound though does have it's drawbacks.  With everyone wearing cowboy hats and the film being in black and white, it's very hard to tell who's who.  Some of the plot points are hard to follow as well.  At one point, the telegraph operator seems to die for no real reason and at another point you see a group of people dancing right after the train robbery and you're left wondering if they are the robbers celebrating or are these people really happy that their train was hijacked.  Turns out it was neither of those options.

The people dancing were the pose hired to kill the robbers and this is where it gets really confusing.  You have no idea who is fighting who.  There's one scene where it looks like the pose is shooting themselves and another scene where everyone is falling down and then the movie ends.  It's very confusing.

One Last Point - This Western was entirely filmed just outside of New Jersey.  I don't know why I find that so funny but I do.

Thanks for reading! - Scott Scene