Why Would Any Parent Let Their Child Watch Dumbo?

Film: Dumbo
Year: 1941
Where I Saw It: DVD

So here we are with another Disney film and like many of you, this film was a staple of my early childhood.  When I got to this film in my book, I had to skip over it because I hadn't seen it in such a long time.  I probably saw it last over twenty years ago and I wanted to watch it again before I wrote my review.  I could only remember vague memories from the film and when I went searching for it I was surprised a bit to find how difficult it was to track down.  After all, it is a Disney movie so therefore it should be easy to find.  Three nights ago I found it, watched it and promptly wept for my childhood.  Yes, it's list time and here are the top ten reasons why you should never let your child watch Dumbo.

1.  Dumbo's mother is thrown in jail.  Not only thrown in jail, but Dumbo is forced to watch every other animal in the circus snuggle up to their mom's in a constant reminder to Dumbo that HIS MOM'S IN JAIL!!!

2.  If you are in any way a supporter of animal rights, just- Umm...  Look, just don't watch it.  Unless you've thought to yourself recently, "Gee, my blood pressure sure has been on the low side lately".

3.  The putting up the circus scene is oddly scary.  I mean, really scary.  I mean, why did you make this scene so scary?  You're putting up a circus!

4.  Dumbo gets wasted on a combination of soap and cheap booze.

5.  While he's drunk, he experiences the most frightening cartoon sequence I have ever scene.  This scene would make Tim Burton say "Hey Walt.  Tone it down will ya?"

6.  The lesson of the movie is "Hey kids!  Do you have big ears?  Then throw yourself off a building and you'll fly!"

7.  Speaking of flying, I know it's a cartoon but it really seems like they were grasping at straws here.  Here's how I imagine the conversation went.
Walt - Alright everybody, we need a new film.
Writer - How about the story of a monkey that can fly?
Walt - No, there's already a movie with flying monkeys.  Think bigger.
Writer - Umm...  An Elephant that can fly?
Walt - BRILLIANT!!!

8.  Dumbo's mouse sidekick is the poor man's Jimney Cricket

9.  Dumbo's mouse sidekick is just Mickey Mouse who hit puberty voice-wise.

10.  Dumbo's crow friends are voiced by black people.  The cartoon could have made them sparrows or cardinals or song birds or ANYTHING ELSE, but no, that wouldn't be racist enough.

One Last Point - The crows really are too much.  Youtube Dumbo Crow Scene and you'll see what I mean.  This is not a case of "accidental" racism or "we didn't know any better then" racism.  It's just flat out racism.  They even have the "Jim Crow" voice.

Thanks for reading! - Scott Scene